but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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