Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
