I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
