You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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