Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize