Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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