Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
