life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
