i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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