I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
