update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
