Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
