Sober January is a disaster.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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