hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
