After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
