Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
where are my eyebrows?
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