i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Let's get the cat blown out
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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