My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i think i just lost a toe
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
