That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
