I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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