i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
