i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
