Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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