we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
