That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
