I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
