I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
