Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
