I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
