i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
