Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
