I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
