Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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