Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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