So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
