I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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