the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
