I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
