When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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