I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
