I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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