All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
