your room smells of hookers.
And success
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
