You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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