Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
