hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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