glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
