I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
