We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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