Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
