Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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