I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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