He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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