its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
